As I have been sharing my new Love Disabled Life Etsy Shop with friends and family, some of my non-disabled friends have said some version of the following comment, "I really want to buy some of your merch, but I don't know if it's okay because I am not disabled." I felt like it was time to tackle the topic of allyship. Of course, I want my friends to be ambassadors for Love Disabled Life, but more importantly, I want them to feel like they can do so without appropriating, being an imposter, or a jerk.

Some core values for how a non-disabled person can be a better ally for the disability community are qualities like humility, curiosity, empathy, and vulnerability. Yes, I said vulnerability— not of the disability community, but of the person seeking to be an ally. Being vulnerable with oneself opens up the opportunity for learning, growth, and the possibility of connecting shared experiences. In short, if you can't be vulnerable with yourself and your story, how can you expect to be authentic in supporting a person or group who (because they are marginalized), on some level, is vulnerable every single day?

Beyond some of those core values, there are other things that those who want to be an ally to the disabled community can do:

• Be an active listener.

• Educate yourself about our history and culture (by doing your homework).

• Acknowledge your own privilege.

• Understand the importance and necessity of access and accommodation without objectifying a disabled person.

• Avoid paternalizing, infantizing, or in any way sensationalizing someone's disability.

• Remember that you are an ally at all times, even when you aren't with a disabled person.

• Be careful not to speak for us.

• Don't generalize or make assumptions.

• Don't tokenize us in trying to have disability representation.

• If you are told "no" or are politely corrected by a disabled person about something, don't get mad or take it personally. Just be open to learning.

• I know this might seem kind of obvious, but don't claim to have a disability when you don't.

Of course, there are more. This list is not comprehensive. If I had to sum up allyship in one concise way, it would be: being an ally isn't about you!

STRONGER TOGETHER

Coalition building and having allies is an integral part of disability advocacy. One of the reasons the 504 Sit-in Protest of 1973 was so successful was that several groups supported the disabled protesters. When the government shut off the water and electricity to the building, groups like the Black Panthers, civil rights organizations, unions, the LGBTQ+ community, churches, and elected politicians, stepped up. They brought food and water, toiletries, bedding, etc., that allowed the protestors to camp out in the federal building for 28 days. To date, it is the most prolonged sit-in occupation of a federal facility. Allyship was a critical factor in its success.

I know there are times when allyship can get be more nuanced. For example, if a white person goes to a Black Lives Matter rally, is it acceptable to raise their fist to support Black Power? I know this is a pretty specific example of what can be an emotionally charged issue. I would say context is a factor. I'm not trying to be the judge of right or wrong. I think there are ways you can inclusively and respectfully show solidarity with a group of which you are not a member. You just have to recognize how much intention and messaging matter. Also, you better be sure you have a good understanding of a community before you try to represent them.

I am an ally of several groups and causes. Some of the groups include Black Lives Matter, LGBTQ+, Immigrants, and Indigenous Peoples. And causes including environmentalism, feminism, disability justice, voting rights, and healthcare for all, just to name a few. I am an ally for these communities and issues in a variety of ways. Sometimes I do buy and wear a t-shirt or a pin. Other times I will sign a petition or share news or information through my social media. Many times I just take the time to stop, listen and educate myself on a topic I'm unfamiliar with but is impacting a community I care about. I don't think there is one specific checklist or set of "to-dos" on how one actually does their allyship. What matters most to me is that every action I take is authentic and intentional.

Allyship exists within the disability community itself. Unfortunately, I think there is a tendency to lump all disabled people into one group. While I believe we have a strong sense of singular community, there is also a wide variety of disabilities within the disability community itself. For example, there are people who are paraplegics, visually impaired, hearing impaired, etc. And then, there can also be intersections of disability with other marginalized communities. For example, a disabled person of color, a gay disabled person, or both, or all of the above!

It might seem like I am just throwing out a bunch of labels just for the sake of it. Every label, however, represents a community of people whose identity is, in part, connected to that community. And that is where things get personal– words have importance, relationships have meaning, and identities have significance. It is imperative for anyone who values solidarity to understand that they are responsible for doing the best they can to be the best ally possible. Note, I don't say they have to be perfect. No one is perfect. Issues can be complex, and sometimes missteps can happen. But striving for perfection can always be the goal. One of my favorite quotes is, "It's never too late for positive change."

Today, we see a new coalition forming in the wake of the COVID-19 global pandemic. For decades people with disabling conditions due to chronic fatigue disorders have languished and struggled for accurate diagnosis and treatment of their health conditions. With COVID-19 long-haul syndrome, there is a new community of formerly non-disabled folks joining forces with people with chronic fatigue. Together, they have a louder voice and more robust advocacy for issues that uniquely affect their lives.

Thankfully, the Biden Administration is listening. As part of his remarks on the 31st Anniversary of the Americans with Disabilities Act, President Biden said he would work to make sure that COVID-19 long-haulers can apply for disability benefits. I know some people might feel that "expanding the tent" can stretch resources too thin and possibly dilute a cause for one particular group. I happen to believe, however, that there is power in numbers and that we are always stronger together.

Lastly, I want to include one specific, potentially uncomfortable thought about why a non-disabled friend of mine might feel awkward about wearing a shirt that reads, "Love Disabled Life." At the root of their unease (which they may not even want to admit to themselves) is that they don't want to wear a shirt promoting a positive disability identity because they don't want other people to think they are disabled. This apprehension exposes the stigma associated with disability in general that I am working hard to address with Love Disabled Life. I believe, only when disability is culturally accepted as a positive or at least neutral way of living will disabled people ever find true equality and inclusion in society.

Here are a couple more resources on how you can be an ally to a disabled person.

https://www.buzzfeed.com/maayanziv/how-to-support-the-disability-community

https://accessibility.cornell.edu/diversity-includes-disability/be-an-ally/