Why I Hate When People Joke with Me About Slowing Down on My Mobility Scooter
I'm 45 years old. And in these 45 blessed and amazing years of living inside this disabled body of mine, I've come to develop a pretty thick skin when out and about in the world. When you look different than other people from a very early age, as I do, you learn how not to let the stares or occasional comments slow you down, or you try not to anyway.
There is, however, one experience that I loathe more than any other: When I am driving my scooter, and a stranger approaches or passes me and utters one of the following phrases:
Don't get a speeding ticket on that thing!
You better slow down there, now!
Have you got a license for that?
I hope you don't drink and drive!
Vrrrmm! Vrrrrmm!
You wanna race?
Is that thing turbocharged?
Where is your sidecar?
Watch out! Speed racer!
(This list is not comprehensive. Feel free to add lines that you have been subjected to in the comment section below.)
There are several reasons why I hate these comments. First off, they are not inclusive. Making a point to emphasize something that highlights a difference about a person from everyone around them is the exact opposite of inclusive. Yet, often the person doing the commenting thinks they actually are being inclusive. There is a subtle nuance of appropriate social behavior I am talking about here. When I get around on my scooter out about in my community, I don't expect folks to negate or ignore the fact that I am using one, they just don't need to point it out. You can acknowledge the existence of something while also not making a spectacle of it, or, by extension, me.
But sometimes, people just can't control themselves. They can't resist uttering one of those ridiculous lines that I've mentioned above. Mostly, for the second reason: they think they are the clever ones. As if that one-liner was the best thing I've heard in ages. And that they are the first person to ever think of such a line. (spoiler alert: it's not, and they aren't)
I don't know what it is about some non-disabled people who lack any self-awareness when it comes to disabled people. I swear some folks say things to us that they wouldn't dare say to anyone else. I think part of it is conscious or unconscious ableism. They do it because they don't know they shouldn't. Beyond implicit ableism is an overt objectification that turns disabled people into spectacles. We are the weird, or shiny, or unfamiliar object/person (sometimes hero-worshiped "oh, look at her do that amazing thing (that's not really that amazing), or pity-targeted, "oh, that poor girl, bless her soul" that garners attention simply for existing. It's a less attractive part of human behavior that I don't like, but I accept. Even I will catch myself sometimes, doing a double-take at someone out in public. I've developed a pretty good I'm-not-going-to-look filter, but say I pass someone super tall, super short, or has a really funky hairstyle. Yes, I'll take a second look. That's just part of being human. However, what I definitely don't do is say anything, point, stare, or make assumptions about someone based on how they look.
This leads me to the third and final reason why I hate when people say what they think is a funny joke to me when I'm on my scooter: Because it is rude. Yep, it's that simple. As the dictionary defines rude, it is impolite or ill-mannered behavior. Yep, that pretty much sums it up. No complex sociological or psychological theories here. It just comes down to good old-fashioned politeness. I know not everyone cares about being polite. But I sure hope that more people care than don't. But if you are a person who thinks that any time is a time for humor, let me set the record straight: it's not. Also, just because I don't think your scooter-teasing is funny doesn't mean I don't have a sense of humor, either. It just means my disability isn't your punchline. Period.
Lastly, since I am on the topic of scooter-driving, if I'm completely honest, I don't even like it when people compliment me when I'm driving my scooter. There are many times when I'm navigating a tight corner or making a three-point turn, for example, and someone will say, "Wow, you are good at that!" Politely I reply, "Yes, I am." But in my head, I'm thinking, I've got years of experience being a scooter user, and I don't need your validation on how to drive it. It would be like if you were out for a walk and saw someone driving their car make a successful right turn at a stop sign. Would you shout out, "Way to go on that right turn!"? Probably not. So please don't do it to me, either.
So, just in case I haven't pounded the point home enough, if you are a non-disabled person and you see a disabled person using a scooter or a wheelchair out in public, please keep your comments to yourself. We know what we are doing. We don't need a quick stand-up routine by someone who thinks they are trying out for open mic night at the Laugh Factory.