Actionable Tips for How to Be a Supportive Disability Ally
One thing that I worry about when it comes to the future of humanity on our planet is how fractured we are becoming as a people. With the interconnectedness that technology (particularly social media) provides, it might seem like the opportunities to connect are boundless. Yet, I see a different phenomenon happening. I call it siloing. I see different groups (whether it be divisions of race, gender, class, political affiliation, disability, geography, etc.) retreating further and further into our own little corners of the world. Corners that feel safe, comfortable, and less confrontational.
While I recognize some level of self-preservation in this behavior, I don’t think it is the way for true inclusion to happen. True equality and justice are never going to happen if we remain in our corners, unmotivated or indeed, unwelcome, by a group other than our own. Whether we like to admit it or not, we need each other.
So, what is the solution then? Well, I don’t know if it is the solution. But a solution is to continue to emphasize the importance of allyship. I strongly believe that every community, and especially marginalized communities, need to keep themselves open to seeking, accepting, and relying on support from others outside of their group. So, in today’s post I address ways that the disability community can be open to allyship from non-disabled people who should follow some practical tips on how to be a supportive disability ally.
How to Be a Supportive Disability Ally
Educate Yourself
The first step in becoming a supportive ally is to educate yourself about disabilities, the challenges faced by individuals with disabilities, and the language of inclusivity. Understand the difference between visible and hidden disabilities, and learn about the social model of disability, which focuses on how societal barriers create disability by failing to accommodate differences. Reading this blog post is a start!
Read books, articles, and listen to podcasts about disability rights and experiences.
Follow disability advocates and organizations on social media to stay informed about current issues and perspectives.
Listen and Learn
Listening to disabled people’s stories from their own perspectives is very important. Their experiences and insights provide valuable lessons on how to be a supportive ally. Remember, being an ally means amplifying voices, not speaking over them.
Ask questions with sensitivity and respect and listen more than you speak.
Be open to feedback and willing to adjust your actions or perspectives based on what you learn.
Know that it is okay to make an honest mistake. Saying the “wrong thing” might happen. That’s okay as long as you learn from your mistake and are not defensive. This is not a lesson in political correctness. This is opening yourself up to be vulnerable with what you understand, and don’t understand. This level of communication will help build trust with a disabled person and prove to them that your intentions are authentic and sincere.
Use Inclusive Language
Language matters. Using person-first ("person with a disability") or identity-first ("disabled person", if preferred) language shows respect for individual preferences and acknowledges their identity without reducing them to their disability.
Always respect an individual's language preference for how they describe their disability.
Avoid outdated or derogatory terms that can perpetuate stigma. The word “handicapped” is outdated terminology for disability.
Advocate for Accessibility
A key part of allyship is advocating for accessibility in all aspects of society, from physical spaces to digital content.
Support businesses and organizations that prioritize accessibility.
Draw attention to, and advocate for, changes to inaccessible environments and practices in your community, workplace, or online.
Practice Empathy, Not Sympathy
Empathy involves understanding and sharing the feelings of another, while sympathy can sometimes lead to pity, which is not empowering. Approach your allyship with empathy, recognizing the strength and resilience of individuals with disabilities.
Focus on empowerment and equality, rather than feeling sorry for someone.
Celebrate achievements and recognize challenges without being patronizing.
Support Inclusion in Every Aspect
Inclusion means ensuring that individuals with disabilities have equal opportunities to participate in all aspects of life. This includes employment, education, social activities, and more.
Promote and support policies and practices that foster inclusion.
Include individuals with disabilities in decision-making processes and activities.
Be a Voice for Change
Use your position as an ally to advocate for change at a systemic level. This can involve supporting disability rights legislation, promoting inclusive policies in the workplace, or raising awareness about disability issues.
Engage in advocacy and awareness campaigns.
Vote for and support policymakers who prioritize disability rights and inclusion.
Being a disability ally means more than just having good intentions; it requires action, understanding, and a commitment to inclusivity. Also, being an ally doesn’t stop over time. Just because you may be friends with a disabled person for many years, their need for your understanding and acceptance of their disability should not wane or weaken. I have had the experience of family members or friends who have known me for a long time say something along the lines of “Oh Jody, but I don’t think of you as disabled.” While I understand no harm is meant, it is actually quite an affront to my identity. I AM disabled and I don’t like having such a huge part of my identity negated. When they don’t see my disability, it feels like they don’t see the whole me.
I hope these tips and best practices can be helpful to anyone reading it who wants to be a disabled ally. Beyond forging new and wonderful friendships, you will contribute to building a more inclusive world. Remember, allyship is about action— words are cheap. And we disabled folk know platitudes when we hear them.